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He did not care about me and then rejected me after 27 years and lots of tears. My husband said its my right under the contract and I don't have to kiss this society **** rear. Ending your marriage is a difficult and complex decision. Nowho's to say he will be faithful. We do not have any other information besides he left her and if after 33 years his reason for leaving her was "she wasn't having sex with me and we didn't bother to discuss the problem" then she is better off without him anyways. It can also create feelings of resentment which bubble under the surface. After so long together its natural that the excitement wears off. The breakdown of a marriage at any stage of life is heartbreaking. I would like to know if you left. But as the spark dies (especially as we all continue to live much longer) many men are spurred on to rediscover that lost passionate love elsewhere. And so he decided to end his 24-year marriage. Move on because he didnt appreciate you. Take trips do what you are responsible to do. Life is short. Maybe you should too. We've tried counseling. Women, need to grasp reality, and realize if you dont give it to him, there are thousands upon thousands of women who would gladly do it for you! So why do couples divorce after 30 years of marriage? In fact, the divorce rate for people older than 50 doubled between 1990 and 2010, though it has remained stable since then, according to Brown's research. Even if you have always had different interests, the things that once bound you together, after 30 years of being married, may no longer stand. We've been through so much together and have 3 wonderful children. My husband did for 27 years before he went off with his ex girlfriend from 35 years ago. He upped and left. I can't blame you for not wanting to be with another man and the thought of going through this again is unbearable. I was stunned at how those sexual feelings started flooding back after so many years of death below the waist. She told me this morning all four were found tied to one tree in the county park badly beaten apparently my hu8sband tied them to the tree they had tied him to that day in his senior year, they did not need sutures, my husband had filled a section of garden hose and sealed it after filling with buckshot and bbs he beat all four until they passed out with that hose. Now I sit here (4 years later) and am afraid to put my heart back out there again because my husband was the love of my life and I trusted him with my life, and he decided to turn his back on me. I will start over here is the storage key were its at she can move it wherever she is going. He move on, don't talk to him, he love someone else, he'll think your crazy, will not feel sorry for you, try a dating site find one new pof.com, You don't need a man in your life. If that was the only issue , an affair would have been the easier way to go.So in response to "grasping reality",I already have. All I can think is its a midlife crisis that men in their 40s,50s seem to have or their just selfish bastards! I was very Lonely. My family is upset because they tell me to just try the waters, but they dont understand the fear that it will happen again. Narcissistic people including men can withhold sex for years. My parents were volatile and always fighting. Lost ? Says Covy: "Just say, 'Thank you for respecting my privacy or 'Thank you for understanding.' Ltd. We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. I want to see my husband having sex with another woman is it write or not. Once children leave the family home, some men may come to the realization that the marriage has changed and they no longer want to be in it. Relationships are inherently constraining. Its a cliche I know, but more than half of adults over the age of She found herself doing things she never would have expected, such as hiding behind bushes in the parking lot across from her former spouse's apartment at 2 a.m. to see if the woman was there. @been there too: You have help so much I'm going through a divorce after 30 yrs and my husband lost his really job and then his dad a week later and he was there and seen him die. I didn't no what to do because i could barely hold on to a job because i suffer badly from anxiety and panic attacks. So, unfortunately, the marriage became nothing more than a charade of stubbornness, business, alist of chores and very little joy or fun together. Researchers suggest this could be because women are more likely to receive such affirmations from others a hug from a friend or a compliment from a stranger in line at the deli. Meanwhile, Men dont get it from other people in their lives so they especially need it from their female partners or wives. but he held out a court order requiring him to work all hours asked that week his shift was 4 pm to 8 am and do it all over again so lets get this killing over with so he could start a real life, he walked in and set a cashiers check down and said the accounts are now empty that's pretty much what I earned for myself after taxes her maintenance came out the amount was about 28000. Hack Spirit. My husband of 30 years just made the decision himself and I did not have a clue. Thats what I set out to do. He said he wants to be selfish for a while and he is sick of looking after the family, I dont understand because I am the money earner and I have always been the one there for the kids. With this awareness, and as divorce becomes far more socially acceptable, some men decide that they cannot stay in an unhappy marriage any longer. Me and my mother spent the night at rodeway and met my husband at 830 the next morning getting back to go to sleep, his mo9ther and sister were there and I nearly cried when I saw how he lived, I don't think I heard five words out of him until Christmas eve that year he had 14 years seniority. TELLY star Linda Robson has told pals she has been hit by a marriage crisis with her husband of almost 33 years. The same effect didnt hold true for women.. This person may have a variety of different beliefs, which may or may not include sex. A man may turn around after 30 or more years of marriage and say he wants a divorce when he has already emotionally checked out of the relationship. You may have had a shared vision for life when you first got married, but for one or both of you, that vision could have shifted to leave you wanting different things. ? I thought it was me writing for a minute. He had nothing to do on the patrols but sit and hit the books, handle repair parts, and mostly do maintenance on the trident fire control systems, So in his ptep tests he was considered number 2 in the rate in the navy, By the time he was discharged he was tired of being under water, tired of never even getting a family gram. Maybe you could ask when he isn't drinking and in his right mind. He refused to communicate until child support services contacted him. He had the son of his best friend with him and my husbands union president and area manager, They told my husband he was going to have to work, the man standing in front of my husband had just started in the plant that year. Waited around for 7 months to see if he would come after me, since he knew my whereabouts but he didn't. What Do Herpes Sores Look Like at Different Stages. He is very cold and angry to me know, I wonder what he is thinking, if there are any men out there who have been through this please explain what is going on. he stopped all communication with me and our 5 sons as if we are dead. In the end, you may have lost a husband you didnt want to lose. Let me say I am sorry this has happened to you and I really hope it all works in the end. I know becuase im going through it myself. A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. For myself, I would rather die than hurt my wife so all I can do is offer an opinion. Take her to get a make over and he should get one too. AARP Membership - LIMITED TIME FLASH SALE. Forgiveness is a choice, and when you make the decision and act on it, the feelings will eventually be there. Although he'd always considered himself "a mate-for-life kind of guy, Tricarico doesn't think the decision or his marriage was a mistake. "It's striking when a couple has been together 40 years and then they call it quits," Levenson told Hi there. February 13, 2023, 12:22 pm, by Out of the adults 50 and over who divorced during this time period, one-third of them had been in their prior marriage for 30 years or more. That will never happen. For a man with a high labido, it is absolutely everything. My husband has broken beaten shattered and made bleed everyone that thought they had a right to interfere in his life, I feel I got off lucky, I was just forced into sex. DD that sounds like my narc-marriage?? The four days between his discharge and his arrival home. I then said if he just stayed were he was at I could arrange to normalize our sex life maybe even get him the vacation he wanted without any ones argument, I got told to stand in front of a high speed semi to drop dead. Marriages require compromise, everybody knows that, and according to social science writer, Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D., MPP, the reality is that relationships do, to a certain extent, require relinquishing freedom. Lachlan Brown And my husband said I have not seen a holiday off since 1978, he needs to pay his dues, the younger man said I am never working a holiday. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. You know, everyone here has a ligit reason to be depressed, sad, lost, etclosing a longtime spouse is a shock and there is much much confussion over the "Whys" of it all. BUt we men seldom end up with what we really want or need and usually, are rash decisions are to blame. And to me it is very funny to give advice to have a make over. Gosh LisaLovesForever, I'm sorry to hear that. Women know that at some point in thier later years, their biological clocks stop ticking, menapause happens and suddnely, they dont want sex, thier bodies change, thier personalities change etc.. Women are lucky enough to have this laid out beofre them from early on in thier lives. Marriages have stages. But rather unsurprisingly that imagined life is also deeply steeped in fantasy. Last year billionaire philanthropists Bill and Melinda Gates told the world that their 27-year marriage was over. And around one in every four 65-year-olds can expect to live past 90 years of age (with one out of ten living until 95). For many of us, life no longer begins at 40, it begins at 50 or 60. So i moved on after later finding out he went behind my back and not telling me once, although we spoke frequently over the telephone, that he was going to divorce me. Murphy sought therapy and felt herself growing as a person. Get a FREE subscription to AARP The Magazine. told my husband that was why he needed a lawyer like I had, my husband said I did not even have time to find one. As a self-identified midlife-divorce survivor, she started the website Midlife Divorce Recovery in 2007, after the release of her book, Radical Recovery: Transforming the Despair of Your Divorce into an Unexpected Good. It pays to give it adequate thought and consider all of the alternatives before making a decision. God speed. In any intimate relationship, youll have to mind your elbows, tucking them in to make room for your partners freedom, and extending them where you can afford freedom.