Artificial intelligence wrote the funny toasts in the following three subsections, but I guess you wouldve never known that if I didnt tell you that. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Heres to the land of the shamrock so green,And heres to each lad and his darlin colleen,Heres to the ones we love dearest and most.May God bless old Ireland; thats this Irishmans toast. Dirty toasts for St. Patrick's Day drunks. #7. To a good selection, no rejection, a strong erection, a clean injection, and no infection!, 19. 20.) So if you like this, Heres to the hot messes, the ones who somehow manage to turn every situation into a disaster. Be sure to check out these other popular toasts lists: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. 15.) 13.) 28. But its not only about me as I discovered, making content for other people is incredibly satisfying. So why not get wasted all the time, and have the time of our life." 2. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain. Everything We Know About Annabelle Wallis Nose Job, A Complete Guide to the Teacup Pomeranian, Flemish Giant Rabbits: Facts You Ought to Know. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Heres to staying positive and testing negative. Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip., #29. Fuc-King! If you like this joke, youll also like these 60 best, most hilarious Rodney Dangerfield jokes and quotes. ", "May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. If you fight, may you fight for a brother. And tell between the two. Land without rent to you. Some of them are totally inappropriate. "Here's champagne for our real friends, and real pain for our sham friends.". The Devil is close behind MDM, Heres hoping you live forever The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift because its the present. ", "Here's to panties, they ain't the best thing in the world, but damn close to it! Especially if youre an old fellow with an army of memories. P.J. And those that dont can go to hell., 27. Hope it never comes. All the rest can go to hell. 2. -No. St Patrick's Day Drinking Toast. May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out. 54.) Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice., #28. Irish Drinking Toasts. 5.) Its old news This is literally a terrific day, because, it is your birthday. Another day another bender. Sure, you could just say cheers before taking a sip of your drink. Irish, Heres to the man who takes the pledge Heres to the great artistic genius, Pablo Picasso. My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. For sure one of the best college drinking toasts youll ever come across. To nights we will never remember, with the friends we will never forget., 25. Here's to "The Usual". Bawdy Drinking Toasts Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. 3.) If you like what you read above, youll also like these 20 really funny Scottish jokes. Try this one at your next bachelorette party. May your girlfriend always be horny for you. May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there. Heres to the women who love me terribly. May you die in bed at 95 years shot by a jealous wife. Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew.My love grows for my foamy friend,With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.Beers so frothy, smooth and cold;Its paradise, pure liquid gold.Yes, beer means many things to me.Thats all for now, I gotta pee. God damn them! And give to your friend this very day If you have never made a toast or a speech before, dont fret. It makes you fight with your neighbor. Hes good people. It can also be seen as not fully participating in the toast and the communal drinking experience. In the third year of marriage, they both speak and the neighbors listen., #16. Heres Why Champagne Is Fucking Overrated, The Fire Inside: The Great Drunkards and What They Drank. May your beautiful lips never blister! Heres to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell. Happy birthday! May you always trust your gut., Heres to the aliens, those mysterious beings who control everything from behind the scenes. Cheers to the real rulers of the world!, Heres to the humans, those clueless creatures who think theyre in control. 40 Beautiful Irish Blessings for Every Occasion. May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. Well, I hope you do, because I, Roman Marshanski, the founder of Humoropedia, wrote them. Heres toasting to your health. Top 10 best drinking toasts 1.) We have only today. So fill your glass to anything. The weird turn pro. Tears make you braver. Anonymous To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Of drinking at somebody else's expense. Here's to the King! Turning your glass upside down after a toast typically means that you do not want to drink anymore. 32. May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. Here are some examples of funny business toasts to give you an idea of what toasting should be like in formal occasions. No retreat no surrender. Time is never wasted. May you work like you dont need the money, love like youve never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, screw like its being filmed, and drink like a true Irishman. http://davidlawmusic.com/blog/2013/9/27/collection-of-drinking-toasts Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 11+ Best Father Of The Bride Toasts You Need To Know & More, 11+ Best Man Toasts & More Wedding Tips You Need To Know, Awesome Wedding Toasts & Quotes: +25 Best That Will Charm All, +35 Best Funny Dog Proverbs & Quotes Youll Find Relatable, 35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You, 35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous Youll Never Repeat Them, Icebreakers: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad That Definitely Fascinate, Funny Icebreaker Questions: 35+ Best & Amazingly Bad, All By AI, Bird Puns & Jokes: 45+ Best That Will Chirp You Into A Smile, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes19 Best Medical Jokes About Doctors30 Best Funny Movie Quotes63 Funny Star Wars Jokes77 Best Funny Love Quotes20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines25 Funny Harry Potter Jokes27 Best President Jokes20 Best Banker JokesKevin Hart Funny Quotes, Funny And Wise Irish Drinking Toasts For Birthdays And All Other Occasions, 5 Amusing And Funny Scottish Drinking Toasts, 3 Best Funny Thanksgiving Toasts Quotes You Need To Know. But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home sweet home to me. Return to Toast Categories. With this collection you can add levity to any special event and will surely add some personal touch to it. Anonymous, Let us have wine and women I have a great fear of falling. Dec 10, 2020 - Explore Bryan Englehart's board "Drinking toasts" on Pinterest. Sermons and soda-water May we always be kind And All that we do, 24. Sometimes its nice to have a common toast ready that works in every situation. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink myself up. poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven." Irish Proverb: "Drink is the curse of the land. 51.) And by a toast I dont mean Cheers or Heres to you offering those is akin to christening a battleship with a Dixie cup. Shes lost her cherry but it doesnt mean a thing, cause shes still got the box that the cherry came in. Next to a circus, there aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit., #27. When I lie down To our health: May we all live to be as old as my jokes. But most people like to hear me drink. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who dont!, 15. Heres to honor hitting honor, getting honor, staying honor and if you cant cum in her cum honor., 17. May you continue to bring chaos and hilarity wherever you go., Heres to the procrastinators, the ones who always leave things until the last minute. 0 Shares. To Honor! Screw like its being filmed Heres to staying positive and testing negative. 52.) 2.) I say good night I have known many, liked not a few, loved only one, I drink to you. . Time is a waste of life. Another theory suggests that cheering originated to ward off evil spirits before consuming. Want to sound funny and wise? ", "Here's to the storks that bring good babies, the crows that bring bad babies, and the swallows that bring no babies at all! To the three rings of marriage: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. 22. Here's to them for fucking us over,and here's to us for never being sober! Heres to whiskey, scotch, or rye, amber, smooth, and clear; its not as sweet as a womans lips, but a damn sight more sincere., 9. 58.) Hold tight to your souls, boys Which Star Wars character is your soulmate? Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. But when the devil comes a knockin To the guy who says, My turn to buy! Here you will find the nasty and sexual limericks that we can't show on the main page. But those ships may sink. If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts. May they continue to manipulate world events to their advantage and keep us mere humans in the dark. 48.) Heres the whores "May you live as . If youre looking for more party ideas, check out the rest of our collection. ", "May we never go to hell, but always be on our way. MDM, Heres to a guy who is never blue Drinking makes happy But never about our thirst. Heres to Dame Fortune;May she smile upon you.May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune. 22.) -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. In with the new. Yiddish, May the Devil make a ladder of your backbone [Retrieved from http://www.tamut.com/toasts/ on 15 August 2003], Here's a toast to the Man I love, he is rich If you go before me Heres to the women who have used and abused us. 11.) And raising a glass. 13. In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. Three of my favorite things. A toast to all the champagne we'll drink tonight, and all the coffee we'll drink tomorrow. No, you want something melodic, meaningful and memorable, something capable of inspiring the troops before they happily careen into battle. 66.) 33.) Scottish, Tis better to buy a small bouquet